1. Beyonce and/or Sasha Fierce
We get it, you can sing. However, in the post Michael Jackson era (you really do have to call it that)I believe music in general will be judge under a more critical microscope and I just have to say that Beyonce will never be great. I can't knock her stage hustle and I certainly can't discredit her pipes, but Beowulf's music in general seems to be egregiously blind to the fact that its absolutely soulless. Every note that comes out of her mouth is pretty, but selected by committee and she is too manufactured to be relatable. Walking talking black barbie was already a vapid, dough eyed mystery and then she goes and creates an alternate persona that just had me scratching my head. Plus this ho, never and I mean, NEVER has anything interesting to say which leads me to believe she is daft. And another thing....for a "artist" that was so keen on not being part of the group, why is she always featured with two other girls in her videos (exhibit A below)
Exhibit A
This leads me to believe that she needs to constantly outshine someone or something which is not the same thing as holding down a stage. And why does she feel the need to create a video for every single track off that awful, I am Sasha....Boring album. Its like she is saying...."Ima show ya crazy". See yourself to the door - Fail.
2. Twitter
I don't get this shit at all and can't figure out for the life of me why you would want anyone to "follow me". Twitter = Stalker as you must really need a lot of attention to write about mundane things like "at the grocery store" or "taking a shit" "Jacking off" and expect people to give you feedback I guess. This thing has gotten entirely too popular and its use is further legitimized in the political arena by being a key communication devise in turmoil that resulted from the Iran elections....groan. Celebrities are keen to it, but really do you think they are the ones actually "tweeting". If you follow them or anyone else than you are a fucking dumb ass. Twitter needs to die already and I already have my tickets for its funeral.
3. Michael Jackson Coverage
Lord....nobody knows how much I miss Mike. I mean, I took the news of his passing harder than I let on only because I felt like music in its purest form died that day and now we would be subjected to nothing but vocoder effects. I read an interesting quote by this blog that I frequent that stated (in terms of MJ's passing) "as you struggled to regain your lost childhood, you ended up providing me and millions of others with our own" and maybe that's why I took it so hard...cause I felt like a part of my childhood (like everyone else) had died as well. But damn, people life goes on. 24 hour coverage is just too fucking much.......what can you say about this man that hasn't already been said. Bill O'reily is a fucking nutjob and a sensationalist and likes controversy so I get why he went on the "No icon" rant. but people, the man wasn't convicted of anything......yeah, his kids are white...but how is that different than say Madonna who goes and adopts African Kids. I don't agree with Al Sharpton one bit, I think he is as shady as an opportunist as they come, but he did have a point when he said that those folks who grew up listening to Jackson 40 years later would go on to vote for the first black president. People sleep on this fact, but no other urban artist was played on MTV before Jackson. In fact, black music was relegated to the recesses of the industry before Jackson. So he IS responsible for Chris Brown, and Usher and Rihanna, and all the other lot. You know while the are bashing you over the head with all this MJ stuff, they are doing all types of backhanded things in the government because nobody is paying attention. Its time to wake up people. Celebrate his life and leave him in peace finally.
4. Barack Obama as the Jesus Remix/Celebrity of the World
People...it was a crowning moment to see the first African American President take the stand, but we have to remember that this man is a POLITICIAN and not the Passion of the Christ. He wasn't born in a manger and he definitely doesn't have the common man's interest at heart. I know his job is a very difficult one...especially in the wake of pandemics and a fledgling economy, but what I fear is that if he doesn't pull this off with flying colors that just like MJ, there will never be another one in our lifetime. It will be the great social experiment in which we embraced diversity, then abruptly shut the door as I'm sure Republicans are just sitting back in the cut, waiting to rebuild their platform to re-establish the status quo. I still have faith in Barack, but the fact that he has ties with the Bilderberg Group and that the government is filled with various representatives from this agency is a little troubling. The fact that the stimulus package has done nothing but put this country in a heap more debt is unsettling and the fact that Barack seems to say one thing and do another is just sad. I really hope Barack doesn't turn into the Bush remix, but if he does, then expect it to be done with more class and dignity (and I use these terms loosely). Step your game up Mr. Presdient...Fail.
5. Reality TV
When is this shit going to end. Now they have figured out that they don't have to try at all and they can recycle the same tired and dry format over and over and over again by just changing the context. This time is big folk in a dating show. I'm sorry, but I'm kinda sorta offended by this idea only because it's hollowly contentious and guilty of the crime of pandering. But what reality show isn't. I will be most surprised when they make a show about a blonde girls search for a brotha, but that won't happen. But the way the trend is going, you can definitely expect to see a dating show about paraplegics or something like "Dancing with the Amputees" Bravo seems to lead the pack with their reality programming and have out VH1'd VH1 with their "Real Housewives" series which don't involve housewives or real women, just bobbleheads with big tits screaming at one another. If people are watching, then why challenge them intellectually I guess, but reality TV programming is producing a pretty nasty bi-product of cast members who feel like they are "celebrities" while real celebrities are out of work and trying to strike that "Reality show deal". The whole thing is a nasty cycle that needs to end right now. Here's a thought, lets stimulate the economy by creating more scripted dramas and real programming. That way, the thousands of writers, production staff, and actors that were laid off and made obsolete can feed their families again.
6. Wendy Williams
I'm glad she manged to branch out and dive into TV, but damn....Wendy Williams looks.....like Rupaul's younger step-brother. I mean, this has to be a man. In fact, if she was, I wouldn't be surprised in the least bit. I kinda like this broad, but the last thing daytime or any other time of tv needs is a loudmouth, abrasive chick who makes all other ethnic women look bad. I don't so much have a problem with her as I do with how and what people attribute to others in the community because of her. And she is just stereotypical enough to help others generalize the whole community. When her show vanished off the air, I thought it was an act of Divine intervention. And no, Barack didn't clap his hand and relinquish it off the air. But now its back and we all need to stage an intervention. FAIL.
7. Al Sharpton and Jesse Jackson
Yo, like why is it that anytime there is anything that has anything to do remotely with African Americans these two aggins always pop up and start yapping. Who appointed them the PR people to speak for the entire black experience. Why are they always grandstanding and acting like they make a difference. Jesse is still mad that he didn't become the first and Mr. Al needs to just continue suing corporation over racial insensitivity or er...blackmailing them. Whatever works for him. What I would really really like is for these two to shut the fuck up and sit down. Last time I checked, neither one of you's last name was King. And you are not organizing any civil rights movements. Its time for both of you to retire. Fail and FAIL.
8. Record Companies
Look, you have done enough damage and now its time to bow out. Especially in the post Michael Jackson era, there seems to be very little use for you. Ohh, how you shove plenty of untalented, calorie free artist down our throats while constantly pushing back albums from talented artists whose musical evolution has become foreign to you (ie. Q-tips "Kamaal the Abstract" will finally see a release date - 9 years after it was produced). What you chose to push off on the masses is a real mystery. Jermih, Drake - Jermih looks like a cross between a human fetus and a vocoder machine and Drake is the high yellow version of Kanye.....and this is originality to you. Music now has become as industrialized as the food industry and the artist that these companies jump behind are so lackluster that they merely insult your intelligence and your musical prowess - Cassie anyone. And lets stop using reality tv as a means of promoting bullshitty "made for TV groups" and has-beens looking for some shine. You seem to interpret quality by album sales, instead of critical opinion. And I get that you need to make money...but even on the fast buck you are still struggling. In promoting the most shitty of acts, people will still chose to pirate the music because its utterly disposable. I just read that Maxwell's "BlackSummers Nights" is on track to sell about 300K in the first week which is phenomenal in the fact that he has been out the game for about 6 years and R&B artist of his caliber rarely see such a push. I would say that he has made a number of appearances, but you would still be hard pressed to know that the album is out now, which is why the record companies are a big fat FAIL.
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