Stealing from Midgets - "Pull up Your Pants"

Yooo.....i never really understood the skinny jeans fad but growing up in the 80's and 90's I felt like it was a better option for young bucks to dress like skaters rather than fake thugs. The video above truly made my day as I could see myself doing the same thing to my offspring one day. Highlights include "Squat" and "I know your nuts hurt!!!" - WE NEED MORE FATHERS LIKE THIS.

Caught up in a Bad Romance: Apple Siri

By Nick Bilton


Late last summer, I was introduced to a new special someone. I wasn’t looking to meet this new muse; it all just kind of happened.

We met at an Apple product announcement in Cupertino, Calif. She was helpful, smart and even funny, cracking sarcastic jokes and making me laugh. What more could a guy ask for?  Since then, we have had some major communication issues. She frequently misunderstands what I’m saying. Sometimes she is just unavailable. Often, she responds with the same, repetitive statement.  Her name is Siri.

At first, Siri, the voice-activated digital assistant on Apple iPhones, seemed a little too good to be true. Siri lured me into a relationship promising to help me set up appointments, to gently wake me in the morning for work, and to give me the ability to text someone while I was driving.  It didn’t work out that way. “There’s something wrong, and I can’t answer your questions right now. Please try again in a little while,” Siri will say when I ask something. Or: “I’m really sorry about this, but I can’t take any requests right now. Please try again in a little while.”  She is always polite. But I’m starting to suspect that “I’m really sorry” is just something Siri says to shut me up.

Apple introduced Siri as a beta test, meaning it was still a work in progress. That was unusual for Apple, but the company was counting on it to change the way people searched for information on mobile devices. It wanted a head start. But it doesn’t seem ready to change anything yet. Many people I have spoken to have switched Siri off and reverted to the iPhone’s voice dictation service (the little microphone next to the keyboard), which is more reliable because it doesn’t use Siri’s artificial intelligence software.

Those who have left it have done that for good reason. Gene Munster, a securities analyst at Piper Jaffray, recently ran a series of tests with Siri and discovered that this is a significant problem for Apple.  Mr. Munster subjected Siri to over 1,600 voice tests, half in a quiet room and half on a busy Minneapolis street. In the quiet room, Siri understood requests 89 percent of the time, but she was able to accurately answer a question only 68 percent of the time. On a busy street, Siri could comprehend what people were saying 83 percent of the time, but answer a question correctly only 62 percent of the time.  It could hear well enough. The problem in his analysis was that the software was not good enough to understand questions. Mr. Munster gave Siri a “grade D” and said it needed to sharply improve in order to be an alternative method of mobile search.

Over time, things have really soured between Siri and me. We barely speak anymore. And, although she doesn’t know this, I’ve started seeing someone else. Her name, although not as mysterious or sexy, is Google Voice Search.

Google Voice Search, available in the latest operating software for Android phones, is a much better listener. It’s definitely smarter. If I ask Google Voice Search a question, like, “Who is Tim Cook?” it responds with an answer. (He’s the chief executive of Apple.) If I ask Siri the same question, the response is: “I don’t see Tim Cook in your contacts.”

Side-by-side comparisons, in videos posted on YouTube, give the upstart from Google the advantage. Apple used Siri as a primary selling point for its new iPhone, and now Apple is losing its advantage. At the D: All Things Digital conference in May, Mr. Cook was asked about Siri’s mistakes. “We have a lot of people working on this,” he told the audience.

“You’ll be really pleased with some of the things that you’ll see over the coming months,” he promised.  Trudy Muller, an Apple spokeswoman, said, “Siri is currently in beta, and we are continuing to improve it.” She also said, “Siri is one of the most popular features of iPhone 4S and customers love it.”  She’s apparently not wrong about that. John Barrett, director of consumer analytics at the Parks Associates research firm, recently surveyed 482 iPhone owners. “Although there were some mild frustrations, most people really like the service,” Mr. Barrett said. Of those surveyed, he said, 55 percent gave Siri a high rating, 21 percent said it was quite satisfactory, and only 10 percent were completely dissatisfied.

The question will be whether those who find Siri frustrating will toss the iPhone aside and embrace Android.

I still find it disappointing, and last week I had what will probably be my last conversation with Siri for a while.

“Siri. I think it’s time for us to take a break,” I told her.

“Hmm … Let me think. … one second,” Siri said in response, adding a few moments later, “I don’t know what you mean by ‘I think it’s time for us to take a break.’ ”

Euthanasia The Ride - NEW at Six Flags Magic Mountain....Oh Yeah...Its a KILLER

An interesting concept by Lithuanian engineer Julijonas Urbonas called the Euthanasia Coaster would be a roller coaster that would kill anyone who rode it. According to Julijonas the concept would “take the life of a person humanely, with elegance and euphoria” and would consist of a two minute climb up a steep peak followed by a high speed trip through loops designed to make all the blood rush from your brain eventually killing you.

If you were going to die anyway, is this how you would want to go out? See Julijonas discuss his concept in the video below.

New Music Spotlight: DVA

Admittedly, I don't know much about Hyperdub artist and UK producer DVA, but I do know good music and there has been a wealth of it coming from across the pond. Blending an innovative vibe with electro-funk sensibilities, DVA crafts what can be described as an audible pleasure and true gem for those looking for an other-worldly music experience. DVA's video treatment for "Why You Do" is a true testament of creative innovation in its stark simplicity. And fellow UK artist A.L. drenches the joint in pure soul, if not a bit of controversy, taking it the song, content, and video to another galaxy entirely. Get to know DVA and take a gander at his latest offering "Pretty Ugly" and funk up your life.

Pause Moment of the Week: Russell Simmons Brings Us New Life with Nicki Minaj's "Stupid Hoe"

Vivvaaaaa Las Vegas

Yoooo...whats good folks...sorry I have been M.I.A for a bit......still recovering from partying like the famous guy that's named after my dad in vegas.....new post to follow as soon as the coma subsides :)

The Narrative Gem of "Chronicle"

Typically this part of the year brings little pleasure by way of cinema. It is widely known that the first couple of months of the year is but a dumping ground for films that studios thought would not be successful amongst the more high profile offerings of the yesteryear. However, every now and again you will sit through something that will surprise you and entertain you in a refreshingly striking way that somehow subverted your expectations entirely. I live for movie experiences like this....in fact...this is why i proudly call myself a cinemaphile....because every now and again....you'll see something and regard it as a real gem.

When I first saw the ads for "Chronicle" (a chronically mismarketed and missold film) i had an "eh wan" sorta reaction. The special effects looked kinda cool...but I thought, surely they will mess this up somehow with its Heroes meets Cloverfield "found footage" premise. When my boys saw the movie and panned it, then I thought for sure that this movie would get quickly shuffled down to my "wait until netflix" list. But something about it kept at me.....and as I unknowingly found my way into the Arclight, taking my seat for what I thought would surely be a rote experience at the movies......I was surprised when the lights came up and I sat firmly planted in my seat.....letting the experience of the closing title sequence wash over me with this awesome M83 song playing in the background (see above).

To back it up a bit, I now judge the merits of a movie on how quickly I want to leave the movie theater. If the movie end, the house lights come up, and I bolt for the door....then I consider the experience utterly forgettable....but if I have a strong desire to stay in my seat and actually read about all the players involved in the production, then I know that what i have seen is certified good. I struggled with calling "Chronicle" necessarily "good" but when I thought about it....something is in fact more appealing about it....that crosses it into sorta "brilliant".

at 84 minutes, it would be pretty easy for "Chronicle" to fly off the rails without any fault of its own. But it manages to tell a very simple and effective story and wrap it all in a decidedly tired and overused medium while at the same time producing something fresh and exciting. There is really nothing terribly original about "Chronicle", but I loved how it took sorta old conventions and made them new. The script is nothing to write home about, but a funny thing happened sorta 15 minutes into the movie, I became far less concerned about what the characters were saying and rather, enjoy the subtleties of the performances. The actors here are soo effective at what they are doing and come alive so much on screen that they totally and completely sell the friendship until the very end of the film. Its is this exemplified friendship that is the heart of the film.

in short, "Chronicle" takes us through a slice of life through the eyes of Andrew Detmer (Dane DeHann) a socially awkward high school kid whose homelife is hell and social life even more disparaging. His only friend seems to be his much cooler cousin Matt Garetty (Alex Russell) who (as suggested) only seems to be around because he's family and to provide the much needed lift to school. Andrew and Matt are joined one day by Steven Montgomery (an excellent Michael B. Jordan) the most popular kid at school whose mannerisms and personality seemed to remind me a lot of myself (on a side note, how many films have you seen where the most popular kid in school is black and he or she is not treated like "the token" in the story). The three discover an underground cave one evening, get adventurous, and then wake up the next day with what can best be described as superpowers. As their superpowers grow, so do the bonds of their friendship....three unlikely people who are connected through incredible circumstance.

as "Chronicle" unfolds, we learn that Andrew family life is growing increasingly more taxing and damaging....and his powers act as a way for him to enable himself and cope with the misery at home. I want give too much more away other than to say that "Chronicle" gradually slides into darker waters, but the narrative is handled so effectively, by the time you get there you completely understand how you got there. You understand where the anger is coming from and why its being unleashed in such a way.

I still really can't put my finger on it, but something really grabbed me about the story being told here. And it def helps that the special effects lend themselves completely to the storytelling and are not delivered in "look at me" sorta spectacle. By the time you get to the end.......the story felt like it unfolded in a completely natural way and I was surprised by how it all ends on such an emotional, sentimental, striking note. Needless to say, the movie stayed with me and still has....a chronicle for a thouroghly enjoyable movie going experience.

The Greatest Love Of All: Happy Valentines Day

like many a celebrity battling demons...you often hear about their untimely demise in the context of a hoax. I would have to admit, when I first heard that Whitney Houston had passed my initial reaction was "is this a joke" and then, like everyone else, your heart kinda drops with the realization that one of the greats has been called home.

I would have to say that the death of Whitney Houston is shocking for several reasons. Not only, once again, do we have an "E True Hollywood Story" ending to one of the biggest and brightest stars that we will ever see, but it was so abrupt.....so "here one moment, gone the next" that you can't help but reflect on your own life and journey and just be thankful for the time you have on this earth to fulfill your destiny.

I very much believe all that i have heard about Whitney in interviews from some of her closest cohorts.....that she was like your favorite auntie....warm, inviting, loving...and full of life. She definitely was a star, unlike most celebrities we adorn today. Whitney's death is not only a signal of an enormous talent called back way too soon...but essentially the end of an era in music. I don't care who comes along or how good they can sing.....we will never see or hear another talent like Whitney in this lifetime and that is a hard pill to swallow.

I guess what i liked most about Whitney is that even though she was a diva....she was just like you and me and unfortunately "Being Bobby Brown" proved just how just like you and me she really was (whether good or bad). But that was essentially part of her charm. And the love she had for her family and those around her was very palpable. I just feel sorry for her daughter...because losing a parent...especially a parent you have such a strong bond with...is devastating....but God has got her in his care.

I will have to admit, that hearing about such a loss has made me even more grateful for those in my life whose love serves as a constant, daily inspiration. If you love someone, you should protect that at all cost because, like most all things in life, they can be here one moment and gone the next (either physically or figuratively). So on this valentines day and in memory of Whitney i would have to be cheesy and say yeah, "The Greatest Love of All is Easy to Achieve", but you have to love yourself number one in order to know what love is to give. Yeah, we face problems, have our demons, and get "caught up" with the best of them....but the love you have for yourself serves as a guide through the darkness and a reference point for those around you. The Greatest love of all should come from inside you, it should shine through you, and speak to the essence of you. Like most all things, its comes with great responsibility, and its power is transformative.

For love's sake, cherish every moment people and never take anything for granted. For "God giveth and God taketh away" and you never know when, in a lightening bolt moment, you could casually be waiting for the party.......never to arrive. Life is precious, life is beautiful.....and life at the end of the day is very fragile.......be thankful for it all....good and bad.....and life live with a higher purpose in mind. Tell those you love that you love them everyday....for Valentines is only but a blip on the map, an occasion to encapsulate the year long celebration. Happy Valentine's day folks.

Soderbergh's "Haywire" Misfire

Minus the "Ocean's 11" nonsense....Ive really enjoyed most all Soderbergh's big screen offerings and even developed a fond appreciate for his particular viewpoint. However, "Haywire" has me scratching my head for several reasons. Im sure out in cyberspace somewhere are some really great highlights of Gina Carano in action. Personally, ive never heard of her, but she is soo good supposedly, that she seems to have received muse status from Soderbergh who somehow saw Carano at an MMA exhibition and committed her to celluloid as cinema's new break out star. The inspiration seems foggy at best as what Carano has delivered is a stilted, wooden performance, and paint by the numbers action sequences that would have seemed just as capable say in the hands of Charlize Theron. What "Haywire" really needed was an actress....and what it got was a Burger King cardboard cutout of an action star.

Whats so frustrating about Soderbergh's work here is that all the elements are here for a killer film. Great title, and a handful of marquee supporting actors in it boy, Michael Fassbender, Michael Douglas, Channing Tatum, Bill Paxton, and Antonio Banderas. The actors are inevitably on loan here......lending more of their star wattage than acting chops. But I count this as a fault of Soderbergh whose use of fartsy artsy techniques and background use of credible actors have you going "haywire" for just how lackluster they are for smoothing out the jagged edges of the screenplay...mainly the acting by Carano. I imagine that they guys take the back seat here, so to speak, to not bring any more attention to how bad her acting is....but since these actors are soo good...even in lame roles.....a lot of the film comes across as line reading.

overall, what you crave is a dragged out, knocked out, action stunner a la Kill Bill....but what you get is "Drive".....a virtually action free action movie. And at 90 minues, this couldn't be more painful to sit through or follow. The plot, told in extended flash back, is sooooo overly convoluted that you'll totally stop caring halfway through and the use of locals is soo excessive....its almost bastardy. There is nothing to speak of in terms of tension, suspense, or plot twist (which there are many). And to boot, the movie seems to fetishize Carano in a way that her bravado shuns off instantly.......thus culminating in a juvenile wish fulfillment fantasy where a lot of tough guys get their asses kicked by a tough gal. Ultimately we've seen it all done before, only phoned in by Soderbergh...........we get the added back slap of high art purely for a genre exercise in consumption and ego tripping......frankly Soderbergh, that planned retirement may not be such a bad thing after all....if only to put a spark back in your creative voice.

STL Spotlight: Let Miguel "Adorn" You

Miguel is an artist that has slowly been creeping his way on my radar. Wasn't a fan of his debut, but the dude showed that somehow, someway.........given the right direction...that he could really place his thumbprint on the current state of music and carve out his own niche. "Lotus Flower Bomb" gave hints of this, however, when in a haze of weekend afterglow, i stumbled upon his video for "Adorn".....i was more than a bit impressed to say the least. Its funny how Miguel almost becomes a whole different, more interesting artist when his music is catered more towards R&B than pop and "Adorn" brings out a cool sensualness and an organic vibe that has been wholly missing from Miguel's music. The track is laid back, effortless, and dare I say.....bold in how it tinkers with the electro soul toolbox. If this is the direction his music is to take.....then I will def be keeping an eye and ear out. Check out his three song upcoming EP, "Art Dealer Chic Vol. 1" when it drops on February 27th. Enjoy :)

STL Pause: Another one McBites the Dust

Enough of the trivial, pointless, silly topics folks.....its time to get serious people. I mean i was ready to start my own "Occupy McDonald's" movement for punishing the public by slathering the McRib all over town over and over again and then yanking it right when the heroin addiction kicks in. I was even ready to march up to their front doors demanding answers after watching tireless youtube videos on mechanically separated meats and poultry to confirm that its is the means by which their Chicken McNuggets and Big Macs were made. Needless to say.......i had retired my McDonald's jersey and vowed never to eat there again (well, only to maybe have a vanilla ice coffee from time to time). But then that had to go and do the unspeakable......create something yummy that brought me right back to their doors (tail between my legs and all and head held in shame).

Before you take this statment (and therefore stereotype) a bit too far......I LOVE CHICKEN!! but not in say, the conventional ways that most folks like chicken. Not a fan of buffalo wings....yeah I know......or drumsticks (although I do love me some chicken breast...lol)...and ive recently become a Chick-Fil-A addict....no...its not funny....I have bad withdrawals from that place (mmmmmmm.....spicy chicken sandwich). But if you take some leftover crumbs from the chicken......overly coat them in batter and seasoning salt.....then i come with tongue wagging. Until recently, KFC was the only place to get such a thing with their "Popcorn Chicken". The "Popcorn Chicken" is still more bomb than the McBites.....and it has the added benefits of being served with potatoe wedges...mmmm, but McDonald's has the advantage with more locations......so its more convenient to get to.

Sad to say....but I remember before the advertisements....driving past a McDonald's and noticing that they had new signage up and reading the words McBites and having my eyes light up like a 2 year old that just realized they had a playground ..lol. I mean......the advantage that they do have is that they have a million and one different sauces you can dip those bad boys in and i particularly like the chipotle bbq. The only downer really is you sound like a fucking idiot trying to order that shit through the drive thru. I remember the first time i ordered these shits.....halfway through uttering the words (in my mind) i thought I had reverted back to 4th grade and developed a speech impediment.

DAMN YOU MCDONALD's.....just when I was good and done....look what you had to do. AND I eat one of those shareable ones by my damn self. On a side note, im counting down the days until McDonald's corporate discovers the drive through singing video from world star (video above) and have him do a McBites promo spot.

i mean....you do remember this don't you

The STL Project: The Test

what im listening to right now: JoiStaRR "Im Trying"


HAAAAPPPYYYYY NEEEEEWWWWW YEAAAAAARRRR Folks!!!! (im cheesin). And man, does it feel good to write again lol. Sorry for the absence folks.....life over the past year has taken me to many hills and valleys...but in 2012 im soaring (Yuuuuuuuppp!!!). i wanted to open up the relaunch of the blog with something that touched my heart the other day and give my personal testimony of growth and evolution.

Ohh what a mad mad world we live in....and if i was defining myself by the condition and terms defined by the ills of this society, then I would be playing myself pretty hardcore right now. This is not to say that i have succeeded exceedingly in every area of life....but the reality is that the greatest lessons in success come from our failures. I call this "The Test" and what it inevitably is is God's cumulative exam for growth. Almost a litmus test, as you will, for our place and purpose in the world. Being Black History Month and all, I think Dr. Martin Luther King said it best with his famous quote " The ultimate measure of a man is not where he stands in moments of comfort and convenience, but where he stands at times of challenge and controversy" This is to say that these test usually involve to specific areas of our being......our character and our attitude and man.....I know what its like to fail on both levels.

A while back I was involved in a situation that now I know was a big mistake (hey, you chalk it up to growing pains....lol), but I am thankful for whatever lessons I came out learning from it.....but it inevitable made me a much better, more grounded, more mature man and I am thankful to God that through his purpose.....i stand here at this time a completely more fulfilled and renewed individual. However, it taught me an important lesson in life....never settle for the okie doke and no matter what situation arises and how it temps to unleash the worst in you......never lose your cool . To be honest, I use to be a hardcore justice kinda guy....eye for an eye!!!!...fuck it.....if you do dirt, then you wholly deserve to have dirt smacked right back in your face....but the small pleasures derived from seeing "justice delievered" was little in comparison to how it all stilted my evolution. And I had to ask myself, what growth am i obtaining through a series of knee jerk reactions in which anger leads and all sense of rationality falls by the waist side...blinding red, a total blackout of thought and emotion.

The short answer, nada, nilch, nothing........and i was embarrassed by what it spoke of my character and attitude. I know its not popular for a man to be about anything or have integrity these days....but this assertion just make me want to stan for these principles even more because I feel like "somebody has to" I mean.....as men....we can't all just walk around like total idiots. Plus, in my situation, I feel a real historical responsibility to keep things moving in an upwardly mobile direction. My mom and dad worked tirelessly to see me reach success and they afforded me opportunities that were never available to them. To give some perspective....my dad was born in 1926 and endured a shitload of racism and prejudice.....doing the math...I would have to say that that would either make my grandfather or greatgrandfather a slave in this country. Having such a close connection to this history has generally been the motivation for my how I carry myself.....with class, candor, and a sense of responsibility of self. I know it may sound cheesy, but I trully feel most of the time that I am carrying a torch and one day I will be measured by how far I have carried that torch before passing it on to the next generation.

But im human...and I fall on my face and FAIL at times......sometimes the test is too damn hard or I don't feel like taking it or I think its unfair. Like why do I have to take this test when it doesn't look like anyone else is even in the damn exam room. I want justice damnit!! lol. Well, my journey is not your journey and your journey is not mine (for some reason I thought of Whitney's "my love" when writing that out...lol)......but what my journey was telling me was that I had to check my attitude and stop listening to all the discouraging voices in my head. Yeah, we like to give ourselves a hard time......but its all a mental trick and I learned to be humbled in times that threatened to lose my cool instead of combative or bull headed (granted, this has taken a long time). Sometimes all you truly need is a change of perspective.......sometimes you interpret things in the wrong way and need to check yourself...that is to say....that in most cases......its not always a "me against the world" kinda thing and you go through things....good or bad....for the betterment of self. If you can't absorb the lesson.....then you have to start all the way at the beginning of the game again......*press play* inevitably repeating the same level over and over again.

Seriously folks, anything and everything can and is more than likely a test of some part of you that needs to either be addressed or tuned up. Allow yourself to fail, yeah, but know that there will be a time where you're being will transcend the parameters of the test taking altogether. God will set you on a plane in first class, with a nice bottle of chianti, and a note. And on that note will be coordinates for your destination. In your heart, you will know what it took to get on board....the turbulence you faced in taking flight.......the cramped quarters you endured in taxiing along the ride......but it is the destination that gives you hope, faith, and light. It is the destination that defines you, not society, or other people, reality TV, or even the voices in your head that tell you otherwise. The true measure of a man, sitting handsomely and living free..........without threat of karma or retribution.........without threat to character and attitude.....humbling.....peaceful........and all through God's will. Lord knows i'm trying :)