Of all the shiz that comes in a can that is bad for you…this is the shittiest!
Watch your ass Lunchables, because there is a new processed lunch in town and it offers not only the obstruction of bowels, but the dangerous sharp edges of a can! What fun for the kiddies!
Introducing the Candwich, the latest snack for obese kids with lazy parents and college students. The promotion on the can promises the tiny sammy will be "Quick & Tasty," so naturally we imagine there is enough salt to impair your vision and corn syrup to bathe in.
The Candwich comes in three flavors: peanut butter and strawberry jam, peanut butter and grape jam, and, brace yourself, BBQ Chicken! Now, as you shouldn't put metal in microwave, we imagine this nifty sandwich is best served cold.
Are you grossed out yet? Wait, there's more!
There's a yellow circle on the left side of the can says "Candy Surprise Inside."
Hooray! So not only are you ingesting 300 calories, but there is a bonus choking hazard! Can you stand it!
And just in case you need a little more of a push to avoid this shiz:
There are plans for the Pepperoni Pizza and French Toast Candwiches.
Breakfast, Lunch, Dinner, Death - all from a can!
PS. Im kinda glad they tried to hide the BBQ Chicken can cause that looks like the epitome of grossness and my stomach is bubbling just thinking about how wrong all of these are.
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